


Cryptic Love

by Adedicatedsheithlover



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Betaed, Bottom Keith (Voltron), Character Death, Character Development, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Ghosts, Homosexuality, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, LMAO, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Schizophrenia, Supernatural Elements, apparitions - Freeform, implied schizophrenia, shiro is a sweetheart, shiro is a whale, tagging is very hard, there might be more tags with upcoming chapters, they are real though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24018427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adedicatedsheithlover/pseuds/Adedicatedsheithlover
Summary: Keith lives in a shabby cottage in a small woodland area and suffers from symptoms of schizophrenia, until one day a particular apparition forces him to change his perception of this so called illness he was diagnosed with.(I am awful at summaries, please spare me. Trust me the plot is actually interesting.)
Relationships: Keith & Krolia (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lotor (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. A trip down memory lane

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fiction i have written on this platform and i hope that whom ever reads this, likes it!!
> 
> Beta reader: Chibichump13

Keith Kogane was diagnosed with autism at the early age of 4 years. 

His life was the most common version of that of an autistic child. His stays during semesters were short due to his mother moving constantly to find a consistent full-time job. He was then placed in a homeschooling programme in order to eliminate his fluctuating school records as it was difficult to even adjust to a school in such a short time. 

Sometimes his mother would accidently groan about how his sense of humour was dull and quite dry but soon curtailed as she become more aware of the indicators of his condition. 

At the age of 8, he had finally been able to settle down in a dissociated provincial which sat in a crater of lush grass. The sparse blue gum accumulated quickly into clusters every 10 feet spanning from north to south west. There was a mountain range into the north east not too close to the little village to cause any alarm. A lovely royal blue lake sparkled in the middle of the town as if it held the rarest gems, serving as the town's only proper eye-candy. 

Keith, unaware of himself exuding such positive emotions, was delighted to have settled in a place like this. A small town with not to many residents, close to the general populace "city" in the south- in which his mom's place of employment was located- and lastly the remarkable scenery. He was glad that the apartments were too overpriced for its shabby conditions, something unusual for a child to comprehend.

He was very...content, to say the least. 

His homeschooling had come to an end and he had been permanently placed in the school system at this little town. The realization of the town's impeccable inability to discriminate against the minority was favoured; the other schools he hopped from were not as forgiving. It was a blissful 2 years of tranquility. 

At the age of 10, Keith was diagnosed with unspecified schizophrenia and PTSD, after a traumatic event took place on the 26th of Feburary.

Shit began to hit the fan as everything spiraled downhill at an increasing rate. 

He had begun to hear what he labelled as "the voices" and uttered descriptions of terrifyingly simplistic creatures whether it be day or night. 

Big yellow eyes, he said.

No arms, he said.

Beady black eyes with hyperdontia a shade of copper. 

His mother mostly feared for his life for with this new illness came the physicality of it; at one point he nearly took his own because, "the tall red man in the yellow suit said he couldn't die." So he took a knife and touched it to his wrist. 

It was a close call, his mother cried as she shook huddled over his petite body. He never understood why she would say 'never to do that again' or 'stop with your nonsensecial babbling' everytime Keith would question the boy weirdly resembling himself "who slept under the bed all day and made crying noises" despite his mouth not opening. These strangely specific details of each apparition the ravenette saw always made his mother's stomach drop sickeningly, her eyes swell with salty water and her breath shake. 

She was always wary of Keith's activities, but never bothered him less it were to harm him, regardless of how weird they got. From drawing pictures of friends she's never met or heard of to hearing him talk and giggle into the wall in the corner of his bedroom.

He suffered greatly from simple nightmares and the ocassional night terrors. There was a time he had gotten out late at night by the lake and stood there for four hours before someone eventually found him. He says he doesn't remember but that is obvious. Another incident is when the house ended up in disarray at his physically belligerent behaviour, which resulted in him being locked in his room until the following morning after he was able to sleep it off. He doesn't remember that either, but it is no surprise. Despite not remembering he still apologizes.

People always gossiped about the dreadful spawn and how he was the devil incarnate himself when he awoke from his premature demise on February the 29th. His pale fingers curled over the back of his palm as he laid peacefully in his casket. Krolia's grief was intense and washed over her harshly, like unrelenting waves only for it to be replaced with a wet gasp as Keith's eyes rolled from the back of his head to swivel minutely behind closed lids before fluttering open. And there his second breath was taken in as he spluttered for air. The town's folk kept their distance; disliking this unnatural event. They were not overly religious. Some might even say they were skeptics, but they never erased the thought of even a higher power or a devil from their minds. But they saw him as something not to involve themselves with. 

He had been homeschooled again.

His 24th year of his life, Keith decides to seclude himself further from civilization. Residing in a small hut in the dense forest not too far from the outskirts of the clusters. His mother begged to live with him, but he deemed it a hazard to her health and safety and shut her down. She has never stopped visiting even when he wasn't there, even if he was hiking around in the woodland areas or if she decided to venture out early whilst he still slept so she wouldnt be a bother. She'd always cook and leave it behind for him or made his shabby little cot or swept his dust infested floors, even settling to plant some white lilacs and daisies to preen up his poor excuse of a cabin. He's comfortable though, he tells himself. He didn't drift too far off from the town because he sometimes needed supplies he couldn't get from the woods, that he'd have to procure relunctantly. It was not pleasant when he visited the towns but he never complained- it was not in his character.

To this day he still wishes that he never rose from that casket. That he should have just been buried alive and left there to rot. But he pushes on for the sake of his mother, despite him not understanding why he does so.


	2. Don't follow the Leader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post every tuesday, I've got other chapters written up but ill restrain myself

"Thank you..." he mumbles minutely, his eyes narrowing bitterly at the skeptical glance of the clerk on the other side of the counter; He was blatantly hanging the bag mid air before Keith, implying he could take it. He shoves the brown paper bag into his hoodie as he pushes the door on his way out, jingling the little rusting bell above.

Since the incident, what people now refer to as "the spectacle", the folk have been reporting sightings and strange visual hallucinations of creatures and people around the village. They previously blamed it on the Korean child but soon their doubts became evident since they continued after his departure. The answers they sought unfortunately were never answered. Though, they were not the sort to resort to violence nor intense hatred nor made any direct contact with him if it were not necessary, which thankfully meant this allowed Keith to slip in and out of the town when he retrieved his medication. That doesn't mean his visits weren't unpleasant. Whenever he arrived his schizophrenia would kick in high gear, upping the intensity on his hallucinations. He still questions why he keeps having them or why they were even so severe despite being mediacted.

He wasn't prepared for this hallucination though.

It wasn't particularly cloudy, nor has it rained in a while either but even so, their weather was never too hot but always had a bite in the air with a push of wind. That's why Keith decided to wear his favourite red and white varsity today- a stuffy, rarely washed, worn-out hoodie.

He toddled on the concrete road that circled the upcoming lake, careful with his steps as not to touch any cracks. He hated stepping on cracks. It made him feel dreadful for some reason. His head never lifting from its fixated hanging position as he made his way along the path.

"Ouf! Hey watch it bra-", an overdressed bloke cursed aloud, his shock cutting his sentence short and he took 3 steps to the side, continuously staring.

"Uhm sorry.." The adolescent speaks cautiously before swiveling around to scuttle towards the lake. He continued to keep his head down, but the thought of running into someone else clouds his brain. He then decidedly takes action to lift his head but before he does- his foot lands in a small puddle. A puddle that had not been there the first time he walked in. Maybe it was from a spillage or rain. But...the rain hadn't fallen all week.

He finally lifts his head regardless of his theories.

This isn't the town.

The vicenarian spins, his hands inch out stand-offishly but instantly settles as he clutches his biceps protectively and huffs. His face dropping into a resting poker face. He's tired.

His booted feet plop into a fairly large puddle and he steps back, circling to avoid it when he stops. A long wailing noise echoes in the distance and he begins to actually survey his surroundings.

The humidity is _dense_. The sky is a light gray covering the burning star implying a downpour and fog encases him and the lake, a cluster of woods parcel around him and the fog, some sticking out of the floor clouds. He's never had one this big; taking up so much...space. His expression doesn't change even as the wailing becomes increasingly loud and a dark long shadow drifts into existence in the fog.

He focuses on its flickering visibility, intent on whether it will come out or not. And it does.

The moment the nose of the creature pokes out, emerging from the pillow of clouds, the wailing becomes almost unbearable. Its deep sorrowful clicking makes the boy cringe. His legs shuffle together as the large animal flaps its fins as if it were truly gliding through its salt-water home as it proceeds to float over to the lake.

An orca.

It was pretty, but had odd features. Its single left fin was too big; broad and long, curving in the centre to create a wing-like effect. It had scarring which stretched over its stubby snout and a small stump which sat in the place of another gorgeous black wing. Its dorsal was collapsed and a large white spot sat on its head. It was huge, almost the size of a grey whale.

The animal makes a u-turn above the lake and starts towards Keith. Despite Keith's quickening heart rate, he doesn't move. Aware that this was most likely another one of his very, very vivid hallucinations. He tightens thin pink lips into a line, worrying them between his teeth. His fingers grip his hoodie as if his life depended on it.

The closer it gets, the more shaken Keith becomes. He's never been so close to something so big before and it was taking all his strength not to bolt out of there. The whale slows as it draws near and eventually stops directly in front of him.

It seems to be...inspecting him. It keeps a distance of a foot as it suspends itself high enough to be face to chest to the boy-in-awe. For some unknown reason Keith feels the need to look into its eyes and just _stay there_.

Five more minutes of this stare down happens before the mammal curls itself to the side to brush pass the erect body.

He can feel it. It was there. It was real. But how? He's never felt them. He's not supposed to feel them but yet he can.

It floats past him as if implying that touching was warranted. So, he touches. He caresses his fingers along its slippery smooth hide. Not what he was expecting but no complaints or questions were made. He eventually came to the stump on its side and he peered at it in awe. Examining the scarring and how the stump itself was barely visible because of how small it was. The mammal had stopped all together at this point, in order to showcase its trauma but quickly, it dashes further forward and makes a bend around Keith. Wafting audaciously ahead and stopping shortly after. It turns its head to look back at the boy as if waiting on something; on him. And Keith, ever so entranced in those dark, glossy, beady eyes, follows along bewitchingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The identity of the orca was obvious, no?  
> Comments are appreciated!!


	3. Don't give it to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith remembers something he doesnt want to

They stop at the lake. It swishes gently in the gloomy atmosphere, still gently glistening with all its radiance. The whale ambles to the centre as Keith warily stops at the edge, looking down with a mixture of fear and fascination. At that very moment, the memories come barreling in, uninvited.

He was 9 at the time, he and another boy, who designated himself as "Keith's friend" had scurried off to the lake, after said boy was scolded by his widowed crimpling mother for stealing some Snickers from the store. 

Swimming was completely off limits and this town's youth were quite the obedient type, so there was no need for walls or rope. Except, for this child. He wasn't a bad influence per say but he sometimes didn't adhere to a minority of the rules of the village; one being not standing atleast 4 feet from the lake.

The boy had an annoyingly charming perosnality, his shoulder length platinum hair was a great contrast with his dark skin and blue eyes. He was also very intolerable, Keith usually tried to avoid the kid, but would always butt up with him eventually. Keith remembered him saying his name was 'Locur' or something like that. He wasn't paying proper attention when he introduced himself. 

Lotor was his actual name and he was proud of it; made him feel powerful. At this moment, not so much. 

He skipped a few pebbles harshly across the surface of the water and gruffly plopped down on the grass; crossing his lean, plastered legs and huffing a pout. 

"Why does she always act like this?" Lotor asked outloud, to no one in particular. 

"It's because you stole from th-" Keith began to point out.

"Keith! Urgh...that's not..what I meant." The silver haired child spat through gritted teeth, then sighed, releasing his tensed up muscles.

"Huh....forget it." He smiled and turned to look up behind him. "You are so literal when it comes to alot of things," he chuckled and stood, "but it's cute." His palm rested on the top of Keith's shiny locks and the latter forced himself not to flinch away from the contact. 

"I am not cute! What makes you think that?" His dark bushy eybrows inched closer and his bottom lip slightly jutted out. Lotor didn't answer as the corners of his lip drew closer to his ears, showing off his array of pearly whites while his cheeks began to darken. He turned to pick up another rock, then swiveled back again to Keith. 

"Here." He took Keith's hand and turned it upward, placing the pebble in his babyish palm and gently folded his fingers over it. "Skip it." He was so small.

Keith continued to look at his closed hand, unmoving, "Skip?" 

"Throw it, like I did just now." He paced behind Keith and gently shoved him forward. "Go on, skip it." He whispered. 

The hair on Keith's neck rose and his cheeks flared red whilst glaring into the water. His arm bent upward at a 45° angle and his wrist twisted back before snapping forward, launching the rock directly into the lake with a plop. 

"No!" Lotor wheezed and bent over behind Keith, using his shoulders as leverage so he didn't fall. Keith frowned.

"What? What is it? Don't laugh at me!" His face turned two shades darker.

"Haheh...that's not it. Look," Lotor comically wiped his tear with an index. He picked up another stone and placed it in Keith's hand again. His grip on the smaller child's shoulder tightened and his left foot shuffled against the back of Keith's left one. The ravenette pushed it forward. Then the blonde twisted Keith's upper body gently to the right, slipping his hand down the length of the other's right arm simultaneously pulling it up and back. This resulted in his left arm sticking out for balance. Perfect. 

"Now what you're gonna do is..." he fixed his hand, "throw the pebble like this; sideways, while you pull your hand forward." As he instructed, the younger pulled his hand back and slung it forward. The pebble landed one solid skip before slapping directly into the water. Lotor gasped and shook the tiny child. "You did it! Wow...it wasn't three nor even two but at least you skipped it! That was great!"

The display of pleasure made the pale boy's lips pinch upward into a satisfied grin.

"Come on, let's find more to skip!" Lotor began scouring through the wet grass. 

Keith turned to the edge and scanned the sod. He vibrated with anticipation at his next try. His eyes flickered from the edge to further up on the ground. At one point, they accidently shifted to the lake and Keith double took. 

It was barely there; a gentle glowing at the bottom of the lake. Keith lifted himself from his crouched position and continued staring, entranced by how it danced in the shifting water. It was calling to him with its alluring glow and so he took a cautious step forward. 

And another.

And another. 

And another, until the water was lapping at his leather clad feet. 

**_Come_ **

He waded further into the giant lagoon. His knees weren't even beneath the water yet, but the figure seemed to be inches away from him. Lying flat on its stomach, its bulging crystaline pupils peer directly into Keith's when it stretched its neck abnormally in order to directly face upward into his own. It began to slink further back into the darkening water, never breaking eye contact; Keith followed. 

He's fully emersed in the freshwater now, breath held and swimming slugglishly downwards to the lowest floor of the lake. He was so out of it that he didn't even hear the first three muffled yelps of his name before swirling upward at the noisy intrusion of someone plodding through water. There, long lithe dark legs were seen kicking, before a muffled sploosh resonated beneath the surface. Suddenly, Keith awoke from his entranced state and his thoughts came reeling back in; he can't swim! How did he get down here?!

Instantly, he instinctively gasped for air and started thrashing around. Lotor was closing in on him and he tried to reach out but something caught his leg. His head whips downward and there the glowing hand is clasping tightly on his thin meatless calf. 

_What is this!? What is this!? What is happening!? Lotor! Help...me!_

The tiny lips of the panicked child open in an attempt to cry out for help but all that was heard were garbled cries and resulted in water filled lungs and ascending bubbles. He chokes up and instinctively tries inhale but to no avail. There was a high pitched ringing in his ears, his vision began to blur, and his throat and lungs constricted. The last thing he sees is a dark shadow shifting further up towards the surface and at that very moment his body became limp and he sank to the bottom unconsciously.


	4. A gift from me to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith gets a lil surprise!! The title is a mix of that barney song everyone has to know lmao

A deep wail-like clicking resonates from the lake's center and immediately Keith snaps out of his agonizing flashback. His palms are sweaty, knees weak, brow lines aching from having his brows pinched upward for so long. His chest heaves rapidly and- he thinks he's having a panic attack. He paces back steadily and whips around. His arms curl around his body and he shakes as he tries to steady his breathing.

_Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5..._

_Exhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5_

He continues this for 6 more minutes and his lids fly open; eyes glossy with unbirthed tears.

"I should...get goi-" he feels warmth encase his shoulders and weight settle atop his head. He doesn't know what it is, but it instantly calms him down. His breathing levels out and his eyes close gently, finally feeling completely relaxed.

_Who are they?_

For some reason he couldn't find it in himself to be alarmed at who could possibly be behind him. It was like the he mentally didn't want to raise any red flags.

The warmth is gone and Keith sighs but turns steadily only to be faced with the large mammal. He's baffled.

_What the fuck?_

He looks around warily, but no one is there. Then his eyes settle on the animal.

"Was that...you?" He frowns.

The mammal obviously doesn't say anything and instead floats forward and brushes his snout to Keith's chest. He can feel it again and this time it shoves him back gently. Pale hands lift to push against the whale's head but instead they just rest there as the whale continues to nuzzle his lean chest.

"What...are you?" He breathes softly but then quickly adds, "The others were never like this..." He stops because he realizes that's a lie. It has only ever happened once.

"Why am I so surprised, then?" Keith's frown deepens and his head rests against the orca's white spot. His hand caresses the side of its face and a small clicking vibrates against Keith's chest. A sudden wetness dampens his cheek. A tear- fallen from his left eye. And then another from his right. Soon enough he is fully weeping.

_It's hurt. It's sad...like me._

He understands, but doesn't know why. It's like he can just...feel it resonate from its body.

He lifts his head and peers down into the tiny black tiny orbs.

"-th!"

"-eith!"

"Keith Kogane!"

The noise nearly gives him whiplash and he's standing face to collarbone with a freakishly tall, robust woman with amber-beige skin and dyed hair.

"My baby!" Her strapping arms swing around the boy gently and begin to squeeze. Despite her herculean strength she squeezes him with the utmost care as if he was a porcelain doll.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" She sweeps her dainty palm under his split-end-bangs and caresses it down the side of his cheeks.

He's speechless for a moment, before he splutters a simple, breathy, 'yeah'. He turns to look behind him but nothing is there except the sloshing tiny waves of the lake and the roping that surrounds it now. Something he didn't notice before. Huh.

"What were you doing near the lake....?" Krolia's words tremble. Her palms slide down to his elbows and she squeezes reassuringly. "You weren't hurt were you? Did you see anything? Did you have another episode? Here, let's get you dry and in new clothes...they're....damp." She pats his hoodie, "Did you...go into the lake?" She struggles to swallow around the lump in her throat as her eyes begin to dampen.

But Keith begins to coo at her in an attempt to stop her from freaking out, "So many questions. How do you expect me to form a coherent sentence?" He embraces her gently with a small smile, "It was a small episode but I calmed down quickly and no...I didn't go into the lake...or...see anything...." he hesitates between those last words. Krolia whimpers and thanks the heavens for his safety. She pushes her hand on his lower back and begins strolling down the cobblestone road to her house.

"You should come in, I have a surprise for you." She had two boomerang-shaped birthmarks on her cheeks that coiled behind and down her neck; they rose into a curve as her lips curl into a tooth rotting smile. She attempts to bite her lips to quell her excitement but inevitably fails.

"Uh...you know I don't like surprises, mama..." He states with a frown.

Krolia's smile drops and she begins to worry her teeth out of guilt now.

"I-I'm so sorry hunny, I completely forgot. I didn't mea-"

"It's fine! I swear, let's just go inside. Hopefully it isn't anything too big." He chuckles nervously and begins fidgeting with his hands.

"Oh no no, of course not!" Her voice becomes inaudible the further she goes into the house and Keith shuffles along.

"Okay, just sit here and I'll be right back." She vibrates visibly to her very core and fidgets minutely. "Relax, relax, I promise you are going to love him- I mean it! You're gonna love it!" She zips up the wooden stairs. The creaking barely getting their two cents in before Krolia practically teleports to the landing. Keith slings his arm to the back of the chair and struggles to man spread in his skintight jeans.

"Why did she have to get me these ones...?" he mutters bitterly. It wasn't long before quick thumping echoed behind him. "Hey, I just remembered to ask you, what's with the purple hai-"

Krolia bounces infront of Keith as she holds out a small carboard box with holes around the sides.

"I...couldn't wrap it. It would've been too dangerous..." her arms inch the box closer to the seated man and he takes the box gently with a skeptical expression. His mother plops down beside him sinking the stuffy orange couch on his right. He rests the box daintily on his lap and flip the lids open.

A small yip is heard from within, Keith's eyes widen and he inhales sharply. He turns to look at his mother and his lips tremble, his eyes squint as they begin to burn. His arms fling themselves around the woman.

"Thank you...thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" His head rubs against her chest and tears and snot begin to dampen her magenta turtleneck. Krolia returns the gesture; wrapping her hands securely around his fluffy mullet and starts to giggle, "I knew you'd love him!"

Keith raises his head and pecks her soft fuzzy cheeks which soon turn a crimson red. His attention returns to the fuzzy black animal.

A dog- more specifically a Belgian shepherd. Its ears perked and flicked at Keith's voice. Its tail slapped pathetically against the bottom of the box.

"Where did you even find him? Aren't these expensive?" His index wiggles playfully infront of the dog's snout and the latter tries to nip at it, its tail pounding faster at its new entertainment.

"Ooohhh he wasn't _that_ expensive, only about two hundred." She scoffs and whips her hand dismissively.

"What? You payed that much!? You know you didn't have to!" His finger stops and he looks into the other's eyes with concern.

"Oh, please kitten. I know you've been dreaming of this day since you were 12. I was planning this for a long time now." She smiles triumphantly and puffs her chest.

Keith hisses as he feels a strong sharp hold on his finger, "You're tiny but you've got a lot of spunk." He scolds quietly without malicious intent. The dog yips and huffs heavily as he goes in for another bite.

"Nuh-uh. This isn't food."

"Did you come up with a name for him or do you need more time...?"

Keith pauses for a while, eyesight never leaving the babe.

"......I'll let him tell me when he's ready..." he smiles, his eyes softening.

Krolia's face scrunches impassively, "His name is Yorak, there." She lifts herself off the couch.

"Huh? What do you mean his name- this is my dog!" Keith yells but his widening grin betrays his emotions.

"I bought him, plus he's not about to magically learn the English lexicon just to give you a name!" The purple haired woman chips.

"What!? Ma that's not fai-" He rasps.

"I got some leftovers, want some?"

"Ma, don't ignore me!" He huffs as he picks up the puppy out of the box and places him in his lap simultaneously pushing the box to the floor.

Krolia chortles heartily, "Soooo...is that a no on the leftovers?"


	5. Notice

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE!!! I just wanted to say that i will be on break for a while. I have serious writer's block and if anyone has any ideas please comment! I dont know when ill be coming back but i do intend to finish this fic- atleast i want to. Hopefully you all understand. For those who are protesting please keep safe and wear protection!! Thank you for all you have read so far!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any constructive comments and such and please drop a kudo if you'd like!!! Also, check out the bottom keith discord server where we show our love and appreciation for both keith and his bottom-ness 🙏🥺🤧💖  
> https://discord.gg/j6WqCY


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